The son must also set boundaries that he communicates appropriately to the parents during the family get together such as Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays or other events.
The son should let the mother in law know if the couple is staying with the parents during the celebrations and he is the one who determines the duration of this period.
When you and your husband are setting the boundaries expect the mother in law to push back.
However, strive to develop a healthy line of communication with his parents that works best for everyone.
This is because many of the conflicts arise from the mother having a strong influence over the son.
The best approach for the husband is to make the agreements on the wife’s terms and not on the terms of the parents and reach an agreeable compromise.Sit down together and agree on certain things without appearing to be a bad influence on the son as that will elicit an opposite effect.It is important that good family relationships are maintained throughout the generations.This effectively affects the marriage and can lead to separation or divorce.Marriage counselors advise that the couple should focus more on their marriage, strengthening their marriage, building their own home than pleasing their parents.The issues can exist for years before the daughter in law finally decides to speak out and confront the mother in law.When it gets to this point, then it becomes evident that there is a lot of intolerable stress and heartbreak.It is sometimes hard for the son to adjust his focus to create harmony in the marriage.Husbands in most cases are not in a position to understand the complex relationship dynamics that play out between the wife and the mother.The tricky thing is to find that agreement between the wife and the son on some of the wishes of the mother in law.Most often, the son is caught in between behaving like a spouse or siding with the mother.